Marriage made in Heaven.

Nice one...





One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly.



The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.



A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can – in fact – get married in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks “Just wondering, if things don’t work out will we be able to get a divorce?”



With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out



“Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here… you really think I’m gonna find a lawyer?”

Million Bucks

Found this one hilarious, well... funny, Here goes...







Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn’t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one..



“I sure do,” he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter.



“Wow!” said his friend, “where did you get that monster.”



“I got it from my genie.”



“You have a genie?” he asked.



“Yes, he’s right here in my pocket.”



“Could I see him?”



He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie.



The friend says, “I’m a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?”



“Yes I will,” the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into his master’s pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks.



About this time, a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere. The friend tells his buddy, “What is going on here, I asked for a million bucks not ducks!”



He answers, “I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 10 inch Bic?”

Devil's Match

For some reason I can't seem to find the option for adding pictures to my posts... I'm not sure if it's changes made by blogspot themselves but I'll edit these posts with images as soon as I can...





Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old man leaned over the bar.



The Devil wanders across to the old man and says “Do you know how I am?” The old man took another sip of his beer and answered “Yep”



The Devil stared at the old man and asked “Well aren’t you afraid of me?” The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs “I married your sister 40 years ago, why the hell should I be scared of you?”

What are you?

Found this one while at work, can't remember what i was looking for but as I thought of adding it, it sure reminded me that it's time to update me blog with new posts. So here goes...



At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

.

After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doc interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.



As she comes back the male doc says “I bet you are a surgeon.” She confirms and asks how he knew. “Easy, you’re always washing your hands.” “That’s very clever” she says, “I bet you’re an anesthesiologist”. “Wow, how did you guess?”



“I didn’t feel a thing.”