More One Liners:- Well I'm back for a little bit, will be posting consistently so visit often :)

There are two kinds of people:- those that do the work, and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.



An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.



There is a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.



He who feels that he is too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito.



Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?



If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?



Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.



Honk if you love peace and quiet.



Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.



The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.



Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.



Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!



Where there's a will... I want to be in it.



Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?



Why is abbreviation such a long word?



You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!



Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.



Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.



A successful man makes more money than his woman can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?



The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.